Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken
You have played enough you have eaten and drunk enough. Now it is time for you to depart.
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Sir Winston Churchill
When you live in Texas, every single time you see snow its magical.
- Pamela Ribon
The essence of all jokes, of all comedy, seems to be an honest or well intended halfness; a non performance of that which is pretended to be performed, at the same time that one is giving loud pledges of performance. The balking of the intellect, is comedy and it announces itself in the pleasant spasms we call laughter.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There comes a time when the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge but can never prove how it got there.
- Albert Einstein
To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.
- Emily Dickinson
If I had the time to sit down and write a thank-you note to everyone who sent me a nice, expensive present, what a wonderful world that would be
- Jack Handey Deep Thoughts